i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
how drunk are you?
Several
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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