So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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