Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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  (317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9
  Replies (4) Good night (431) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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  (517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo
  Replies (41) Good night (799) Bad night (1907) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.

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  (515): Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life. http://tfl.nu/dizz
  Replies (60) Good night (533) Bad night (4961) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?

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  (504): He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird? http://tfl.nu/yuh6
  Replies (67) Good night (7771) Bad night (937)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv

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  (615): a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv http://tfl.nu/wh93
  Replies (15) Good night (1077) Bad night (3957) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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  (856): Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend. http://tfl.nu/zfxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3426) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.

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  (318): I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line. http://tfl.nu/xyp6
  Replies (9) Good night (4191) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue

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  (617): Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue http://tfl.nu/zfyk
  Replies (8) Good night (4592) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.

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  (856): Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/fxno
  Replies (33) Good night (909) Bad night (8261) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

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  (256): this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man. http://tfl.nu/hhwz
  Replies (17) Good night (987) Bad night (5958) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (1988) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.

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  (610): Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka. http://tfl.nu/ea3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1026) Bad night (587)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer

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  (440): Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer http://tfl.nu/t9hh
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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  (956): Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout. http://tfl.nu/rol8
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.

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  (616): I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like. http://tfl.nu/l89u
  Replies (8) Good night (403) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt

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