So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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