you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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