please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
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Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize