i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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