The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize