never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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