there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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