His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
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We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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