Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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