just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize