This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize