Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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