Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
that may or may not have been my penis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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