I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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