Plan B is the new Plan A
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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