This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize