just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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