Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
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i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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