My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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