I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize