He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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