We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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