Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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