One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize