"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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