we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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