i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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