I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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