Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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