saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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