Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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