And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I will pee on everything he values.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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