My brain says no but my pants say off.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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