So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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