I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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