Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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