i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
barbara walters just said penis...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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