if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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