all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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