all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize