Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize