so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
try to milk me bitch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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