you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Randomize