so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dicks are not precious.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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