idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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