i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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