you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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